The Mystery of the Orange Moonchild

May I commence this most significant of diggings, on the even of a most significantly spicy lunation, with an offer of humility.

On the 11th of October (check local guides), the Lord of the Celestial Underworld finally finished its prolonged grind to a reverse halt, Stationing Direct at the 29th/Anaretic/Karmic/Final Boss Degree of Tropical Capricorn: leaving The Goat behind for what one assumes will be the final time in this current iteration of the Simulation.

To seal the deal — and in what might well be the most provocative act in her impressive resume of provocative acts — Luna consummated the moment in typically brazen and shameless fashion, not long after midnight Wombat Standard Time.

Needless to say, this is a Big Deal: particularly for Tropical-leaning Astrologers.

Well: and for this proud Geocentric Siderealist, given it formed a somewhat on-the-nose T-Square with my 29 Degree Cancer Mercury and 29 Degree Aries Jupiter — and, sure enough (apologies for this overshare, but I assume you are used to it DTWH by now) as Hades officially halted at roughly 5pm WST, I found myself rushing to the porcelain and engaging in a brutal, 12ish hour Plutonic purge not experienced since my time battling Meniere’s Disease.

Anyway: back to Astrology. In my initial explorations of the mystery of the Skyclock, I didn’t pay these obsessions with Celestial minutia much attention: in fact, I viewed them as a (albeit entertaining) distraction from the underlying “true” Sidereal Archetypes — emerging from the inherent human need to reduce and quantify The Mystery into something that is practical and accessible.

The Skyclock, to me, was not an instrument of exact degrees and hard lines, but more simply an ever shifting gradient of archetypal energies: a straightforward and observable interaction between transient and fixed Luminaries, which we might otherwise call Planets and Stars.

Now — not because of the writings of our stargazing Greek ancestors, but through hard and repeated practical validations — I think differently (although I still have a quite fundamental and arguably irrational opposition to Whole Sign Houses: come at me Hellenistic Bros).

That’s not to say that I reject my previous position on the True-ness of Astrology as a Sidereal phenomenon, as I still believe anyone who becomes lost in their exploration of their personal Celestial Story within the mind-bending intricacy of the Tropical Matrix is doing themselves a disservice.

Nonetheless, I was wrong, and I will own it (I am still a proud and unashamed Geocentrist, in case you were wondering). And it seems entirely appropriate that I make this admission in the wake of this most humbling of Aspects.

Because: what, or who, delivered the final egoic blow to this Mercury-Square-Jupiter, Know-It-All Wombat?

But who else: The Orange Moonchild, of course.

The Conspiracy of the Orange Moonchild

Before we return to The Chosen Tangerine, let’s take a more mundane yet also urgent example.

To state the obvious, the Sim currently finds itself in a somewhat perilous state.

In both a figurative and literal sense, it is starting to feel like those objective and tangible structures of our reality that have been taken for granted — consensus truths, benevolent social institutions, above-water land masses etc. — appear at risk of being being dissolved and washed away in front of our eyes.

It feels bleak, and depressing, and — on a bad day, which usually implies too much time spent on Twitter/Telegram — it may seem as though we have passed the point of no return.

But then… Tropical Astrology would tell us, well, No Shit Sherlock; what else would you expect with the God of the Oceans Neptune hovering around that final boss degree, not just of Mutable Water Pisces but the entire Zodiac, with the Greater Malefic lurking at the edge of the ORB OF INFLUENCE — with both currently being Retrograde (which means something, although i’m still not quite sure what).

If we accept the validity of Tropical Astrology, we are quite literally on The Brink: arguably the two most incompatible of the 10 core Celestial Archetypes, about to transition together across the conclusion of the Solar Cycle.

But then… with that acceptance comes a quite profound sense of reassurance — yes, the shift to the Sign most associated with Fire and Brimstone might not sound overly appealing, but at least we have a clear and defined sense of what we can expect, come 2026 and beyond.

Now, that’s not to say that non-Celestial factors — whether it be, on one hand, the increasing disconnect of our species from the organic plane that houses us; or, on the other, the shady geo-manipulations of the Dark Jupiterians — are not at play.

Whether the Weather

But we also did just have a freaking Breaking Bad Lunar Eclipse right in the middle of this slippery combination, and so establishing this archetypal starting point feels necessary before we attempt to untangle any additional exacerbating factors.

Because we are all aware of the inescapably-fated nature of Eclipses by now, are we not fellow diggers?

The Eclipse of the Orange Moonchild

And around this somewhat unsettling mystery — what lies under the influence of human free will, and what is simply the unfoldment of a fixed Celestial Script — is where we return to The Mystery of the Orange Moonchild.

Yes: after Part 3, I thought we were done (and yes, even though it is the last thing on my and probably Tonika’s mind right now, I am now humble enough to not discount a Part 5 should it one day be required (and yes, Astrology does operate posthumously, if that is where your wholesomely sadistic minds automatically wandered)).

But then… that now-infamous (although perhaps now somewhat surprisingly forgotten) Non-Fatal Head Wound happened, and I was left with little choice.

Just another Fake and Staged Psy-op you say? Well, do I have a story for you!

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Much theorising has been conspiracised about the true nature of the events of July 13 2024 in Butler, PA (which, it should surprise absolutely no-one, was only a matter of minor degrees off the Path of Totality of the April 8th Total Solar Eclipse). But may I provocatively, and not so humbly, suggest that any such theorising that does not begin with the Astrology outlined here is flawed at best, and irrelevant at worst.

Indeed, with that opening calculated act of humility in the bank, let me indulge a little more and suggest that this fourth contribution to the Bottom of the Wombat Hole is essential viewing for anyone who has forwarded a conspiratorial position on The Orange Moonchild’s Non Fatal Head Wound.

Luckily, we have most definitely made it worth your while — also not at all humbly (although this time, thankfully, not about me), this is absolutely my co-pilot’s best work: just wait til you get to “The Twins Conspiracy”, and I am most confident you will agree.

Having said all that, you also needn’t give one disfigured citrus about those events — because those events are simply an entry point into the deeper (perhaps deepest?) mystery that lies at the heart of both Astrology and our experience of the Realm: what is mine to change, and what is mine to bear?

I’m certainly not about to give you the answer here, even if I were to have one for you. However, I dare say that if you do make it to the end of the following 80ish minutes of Wholesome Astrology, you will have pause to reconsider your previous assumptions about changing and bearing.

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Having said all that, a few disclaimers.

Unless you are a well-seasoned Digger (and ideally one with unlimited high-speed internet) I’m not sure I can, in good conscience, say that our creative production should be at the top of your priority list — despite the amount of work that both myself and Tonika put in to get it out with at least a day to spare before The Full Moon of Fire and Water.

Perhaps, given all that was just said about weather, the priority should be on making sure your metaphorical i’s are dotted and t’s are crossed.

Or, perhaps conversely, it might be the perfect wholesome distraction from current world events, which are making the active engagement with the deeper mysteries of our Realm the only valid coping mechanism.

If you are feeling that particular vibe, but you also find yourself coming across The Orange Moonchild for the first time, then I feel absolutely obliged to encourage you to start from the beginning of the story — or, at the very least, Part 3: which is when the real Astrology begins (and, if we are being honest, where the real conspiracy begins as well).

The Astrology of the Orange Moonchild

Yes, that will require no less than 4 hours of your precious time — which, to be fair, does not ask as much of you as other notorious LooshTube series. In which case, perhaps, it is better saved for a lazy Sunday afternoon spent avoiding the escalation of world events.

Or, if we are are reading the Apocalyptic Tea Leaves correctly, perhaps we will soon have plenty of time for such digressions beyond just lazy Sundays — if the 2nd Horseman is to plunge us into a similar scenario that the 1st Horseman most famously did.

In which case, we will have plenty of time to fully and deeply engage with the Mystery of Astrology. Which seems to me a Celestial Silver Lining that makes any scripted Apocalyptic events to come ultimately redeeming.

Enjoy The Show, fellow diggers... but more importantly: never forget to Enjoy The Mystery.