Welcome to The Coronaspiracy

A Journey Down the 'Rona Hole.

Jan 03, 2022

The Great Information Wars

While Covid-19 has taken much from all of us, one of its great contributions to society will be a growing list of now-ubiquitous catch-phrases: each representing heat-seeking missiles of language, thrown across the increasingly hostile divide between the compliers and the deniers.

What are your favourite linguistic fragments — those 1 to 4 word slogans that seem destined to be forever imprinted/branded into our collective consciousness?

“Stop the Spread!”
“Safe and Effective!”
“Grandma-killer!”
“Maskhole!”
“Covidiot!”
“Covid is a Hoax!”
“My Body My Choice!”
“Coercion is not Consent!”
“F—k the Jab!”

So many contenders. While slightly less exciting and emotional, we do also have some variation of:

“Trust/Listen to the Science/Experts!”

This statement is, at heart, undoubtably sound advice that hearkens back to the simpler times of our BC (Before Covid) era. However, in this trying and testing AD (After Delta) apocalyptic viral reality, it can lead to a mental black hole.

Why? Because we currently have a range of experts on various subjects claiming the exact literal opposite of each other.

The Jibby jab is simultaneously both saving the world… and contributing to its impending depopulation.

Ivermectin is both a harmful horse dewormer… and a miracle cure.

Masks are both life-saving spread stoppers… and useless face diapers.

Anthony Fauci is both the last bastion of intellectual integrity in a science-denying world gone mad… and a lying psychopathic animal torturer.

In short, to put things in Biblical terms: humanity’s fall into duality, initiated by that fateful decision by Adam and Eve in Eden, has reached its logical extreme in our current Information Age. We are in the midst of the Great Information Wars, and there is barely a safe haven within which to rest as we navigate the unending barrage coming at us from all angles.

The Age of the Conspiracy Theorist

So, what does a discerning dot-connector do?

The answer seems obvious: listen to experts on both sides of every scientific debate — to the extent that is reasonable and feasible — and try and weed out the gems of truth from the muck of mis- and disinformation. However, it goes without saying, that this approach would require far more effort than the alternative: i.e. assuming that the science/expert that reflects our pre-existing worldview is infallible (or at least close enough to infallible to make unwavering faith a safe enough bet).

There is — regrettably, if you ask me — one type of expert that has been consistently under-heard (and under-appreciated) throughout this pandemic. No: not virologists, not epidemiologists, not biologists, not cardiologists — your usual ’ists. I’m talking about the conspiracy theorists.

That’s right: the people who devote the most amount of their time — and hence, by logical reason, should be the authorised voices to turn to first — studying the nefarious plans of our elite overlords.

Why should we care what they (we) have to say? Well, because everyone one of us are theorists of some sort, at the end of the day, aren’t we?

You might specialise in various aspects of infectious disease research, for example: but even then, you are only doing your part in filling out the grander framework of Germ Theory.

In fact, when you properly stop to think about it, Germ Theory is one hell of a conspiracy theory: something — some negative entity of which you have no sensory proof actually exists — is constantly out to get you! And (in perhaps the most ingenious part of the conspiracy) the only people who can prove the existence of this thing and that it is indeed out to get us — that it poses an existential threat to our existence if left unchecked — are the same people telling you that only they can save you from this thing!

So, if we are all just conspiracy theorists — trying to piece together fragments of a picture that lies almost entirely beyond our own senses, but yet seems just a little bit darker each time we do get a sense — then surely the actual conspiracy theorists, those who have owned that title and copped shit for it accordingly, deserve to have our voices taken seriously.

Inclusive Conspiracy

Disclaimer: I can’t claim to be a top-tier expert in the conspiracy realm. I am a newbie, in reality: a tin foil hat wearer who only found that snug fit as the ‘Rona was mutating into our collective reality. Sure, I dabbled elsewhere in some 9/11 Truth, some Illuminati symbology, some unpopular fascination with Orange Man Bad. But it was only when I first started down the ‘Rona hole that I properly started triggering people and alienating family and friends: you know, standard conspiracy theorist stuff.

In short, and in a shameless plug: I am a conspiracy theorist that came of age with Covid, and have none of the often unpleasant baggage that might come with some of my more established, reptilian-believing, anti-semitic leaning compatriots.

I’m also an equal opportunist conspiracy theorist: I’ve made it a point to dive into virtually every contested ‘Rona-related issue, and provided unpopular conspiracy takes on all of them, virtually from Day 1.

And that is what you will find in The Coronaspiracy: a comprehensive Covid-19 conspiracy critique, with bonus alliteration.

Mask don’t work?

The testing is fake?

There is no virus?

The ‘Rona is a bioweapon that came from a lab?

The Jibby Jab is a bioweapon that came from a lab?

Sure, they will all get a thorough interrogation. But we aren’t just talking about the conspiracies favoured by your freedom-loving, deplorable, right-wing nut jobs. Oh no! What if all these aforementioned conspiracies might simply be smaller pieces within a larger plot behind this pandemic: one to do with the issue of race, white supremacy and the ongoing war against black and minority communities?

The suppression of natural treatments by the Scientism-obsessed and Capitalism-compromised Western Medical Cabal?

The scourge of unconscious medical racism in our society?

The uniquely-oppressive, colonial evil of imposing medical mandates on indigenous people?

Bill Gates likes to experiment on black kids?

Ooh boy. If there is one thing that this pale, male and stale scene is in desperate need of, it is inclusive conspiracy theories. And I am here to help.

Enjoy The Show

As a necessary disclaimer before embarking on this journey down the ‘Rona hole, some conditions of entry are required.

Conspiracy is fundamentally an exercise in dot connecting: rarely is there clear proof for any theory that is strung together. When a conspiracy theorist decides to go public and commit to any theory, they are doing so with some degree of faith and calculated risk assessment. What are the implications of speaking out and being wrong compared to not speaking up and being right?

What intrepid ‘Rona Hole explorers will need to do as they embark on this downward journey is become comfortable with entertaining a parallel perspective on reality — one that perceives every event as one thread of some grand global conspiracy tapestry. Entertain, without committing or becoming attached to it. Just try that aluminium foil on for size; see whether it feels as ridiculous as it looks from the outside.

What I plan to lay out is a series of conspiracy-themed sketches of the key pandemic narratives we have seen unfold over the last two years — sketches that, taken together, may form the outlines of an astonishingly intricate and overarching nefarious scheme behind this pandemic… or may just provide you with a bit more to think about.

If nothing else, then, diving down the ‘Rona Hole will act as a lesson in understanding and compassion towards those who do indeed firmly believe in the entirety of The Coronaspiracy.

But I do hope it will be more than that. The real hope I have for The Coronaspiracy is that it can be the wombat hole that brings together both sides of the political divide. I can’t promise it will be an easy process to reach that union — particularly if you have developed an attachment to Germ Theory — but I will do what I can to find the enjoyment in it.

To that end, we will need to have some fun. Let’s view The Coronaspiracy as the greatest pandemic movie ever made (and there have been a few, let’s be honest): the real life climax to one of, if not the, greatest stories — the greatest conspiracies — of our modern age.

Got your popcorn ready?

The Virus, The Disease, The Jibby Jab

There are three main acts of The Coronaspiracy movie, each of six chapters (there’s your 666 baby!), that we must progress through before we can say that we have have traversed the full depths of the ‘Rona Hole.

Act I concerns The Virus, and more generally the core Western medical belief that germs are the root cause of human disease.

We will start by perusing the prevalence of Germ Theory in popular culture; we will analyse its origins, focusing on the greatest forgotten showdown in medical history, Pasteur versus Béchamp; before working our way forward in time to understand how this conspiracy of nature has been building up to its current climax. By the end of the first half of Act 1, to finish setting the scene for the main narrative arc of our movie, we will analyse the origins of the pandemic, and provide introductions to some of our key characters/actors. All the big names come together in this ensemble cast: Gates, Fauci, Kennedy, and — of course — the Orange Man himself.

Act I will conclude with deep dives into three of the most crucial pillars of Germ Theory that have dictated the narrative of this pandemic: Testing, Masks and Lockdowns. We will Follow The Science — as we have been told to do — for all three of these medical interventions, to see just where The Science leads us. Alternative conspiracy explanations will then be provided for why these interventions now appear destined to become permanent fixtures in our lives — regardless of how much or little they may represent scientific reality.

Act II concerns The Disease, and will seek to answer the question: if not a virus — if not these wretched germs — then what has been making the world so sick?

This is where things start to get really spicy, as we dive headlong into the Early Treatment Scandal — beginning with the AIDS epidemic of the 1980s, leading into our contemporary debate around Remdesivir, Hydroxychloroquine and Ivermectin, and with the spectre of the Doctor in White ever-present.

We will then put the spotlight on some of the main suspicious bystanders to the deteriorating health of Western society: 5G and the EMF invisible rainbow; parasites and other biological nasties; as well as heavy metals such as mercury and aluminium. This is a perfect segway to the elephant in the room that is auto-immunity — has all this focus on external attacking agents been cover for the fact that it has been our own bodies that have doing the real damage?

We will finish Act II by taking a critical lens towards the overall culpability of the Western Science and Medicine in our post-colonised, disease-ridden society.

Act III, and the deepest level of the ‘Rona hole, concerns, of course, The Jab — it’s all about the Jibby Jab, after all.

We will start with a brief history of the Jibby Jab: critically assessing the historical examples put forward by proponents for the success of vaccination in preventing human disease. Then its time to go full tin foil hat, and dip our toes into some of the most extreme Bill Gates-inspired theories behind the Jibby Jab rollout. Depopulation! Transhumanism! Genocide! Finally, we will fully confront what we have been doing to our Children: the deepest, most uncomfortable but ultimately inevitable burrow that a conspiracy theorist must explore.

But let’s not forget: this is a movie, and every good movie leaves us feeling more hopeful about the world around us. To end things on a high, our final chapter of our final act will close the curtain on our Coronaspiracy tale: showing how every scene has been necessary to provide us with the closure needed to escape from our current germ-infested collective psychosis.

We are witnessing the Coronation of the Germ Theory Conspiracy playing out before our eyes, and we have the greatest actor of them all — the Orange Man — putting on what may one day be remembered as truly the Greatest Show on Earth.

Well… the Greatest Show on Earth besides wombat videos, maybe.