The Slippery Astrology of Julian Assange

THE FIRST OF A SPICY CANCER BIRTHDAY COUNTDOWN SERIES HOORAY

What does it mean to have a Planet on your Ascendant?

With the Orange Moonchild, the answer lies hidden in plain sight: we take on the fundamental characteristics of that Planet in our most basic mannerisms and physical appearance.

Uranus? You might feel the need to change your appearance, to continually liberate yourself in the most tangible and immediate way possible from your previously-defined 1st House Self.

Venus? You might be considered exceedingly femininely beautiful like Angelina Jolie and CIA Bey Bey(once).

Mars? Just a tinge of the Red Planet (and a life lived in constant war footing).

Neptune?

WELL LET ME EXPLAIN as someone preparing for the final pass of transiting Neptune over their Ascendant.

A persistently strong tug towards Escape and Anonymity.

Self-Sacrificial tendencies.

To experience life (or to be perceived as experiencing life) as if in a Dream.

To have (or be perceived to have, lest I incriminate myself) an ambiguous relationship to the Truth.

Water.

Whether or not they are addicted to jumping in the freezing winter Southern Ocean every morning, we might at least consider this person to be rather fluid — hard to pin down.

What if we play the Tropical game, and added a Sun in Cancer in the 8th House, Trine to a Scorpio Moon in the 12th House (that is: two Water Signs and two Water Houses)?

We might conclude that this is one slippery fucker we might be dealing with here.

Let’s call the placement of that triangle a fun coincidence.

Yes: it seems a bit disrespectful to reduce the Astrology of one of the spiciest side acts to the main Orange Moonchild Show down to just his Big 3 (actually, we haven’t even talked about Assange’s Rising Sign: that will have to wait for episode 2).

However, when the Big 3 present such an unambiguously slippery picture, it seems a shame to further muddy those already somewhat shady waters.