The Coronation of Apollo

Part 4 of the Wholesome Astrology of Apollo and His Arrows

Concerning the Entrance of Coronis, the Breaking of a Seal, and a (Second) Serpent in the Sky.

The Summoning of Apollo

The Birth of Apollo

The Ascension of Apollo

“And I looked, and behold a White Horse! And the one sitting on it having a Bow (‘Toxon’) and was given to him was a Crown (‘Corona’): and he went forth overcoming, and that he might conquer.”

Revelation 6:2 — The First Seal of the “Apocalypse”

And so it was: the Sun God Apollo — He of Prophecy and Plagues, the Beast (allegedly) now unleashed from the Abyss — would ascend to the Throne of Ultimate Power by the start of 2017, three years before the Great Revealing that would occur at the start of the Year of Clear Vision.

Hermes leant back from the laptop, feeling slightly overwhelmed by the task at hand: it was no small feat, being tasked with planning out the “End Times”.

He turned to his formidable compatriot, hoping the Greater Benefic could help get things started.

“Um, Zeus. What is it, exactly, that we are Revealing?”

Zeus shrugged, leaving both Gods glancing at the nearby MacBook screen, waiting for that always immaculately timed ding to direct them to the next fated step.

Instead, they both got the fright of their infinite lives, as the door behind them was gracefully and modestly flung open — for the first time in our Sausage-fest of a Celestial Story, a female deity entered the Undisclosed Celestial Location.

“Hello gents… Kronos said you were finally ready?”

Hermes went pale, as if he had seen a ghost.

“Coronis! But… you…”

“You thought Apollo killed me while pregnant with Asclepius after he found out I slept with Ischys behind his back but not before he tried and failed to heal me and then performed a spontaneous C-section on my funeral pyre?”

Coronis realised they were about to get bogged down in the demented patriarchal fantasies of Greek mythology, and got things back on topic.

“Anyway, long story short: I survived — obviously, you can’t kill a God — and now I’m getting back at that psychopathic asshole by hijacking his Revelation and making it all about me.”

Hermes glanced at Zeus, who raised both hands in the universal “Don’t Look At Me” gesture. The Psychopomp tapped again at the laptop.

“Ok. So… where do we start?”

Coronis was coming in hot, with a level of bottled up anti-masculine resentment befitting perhaps the most famous of domestic abuses victims in Simulation history.

“An Eclipse, obviously, idiot.”

Obviously, Hermes, idiot. With this surprising act of self-admonishment, he felt his creative juices flowing again.

“How about Boxing Day? At least let those poor hybrid bastards enjoy one final pre-Apocalyptic Christmas. And it needs to be a Blood Moon, to reflect Apollo’s Birth…”

Coronis hissed:

“Solar Annular, dickhead: you know, the Ring of Fire that is very literally a Celestial Corona.”

Hermes, despite feeling his already tenuous masculinity being very much undermined, could find no case to argue against this symbolic flourish.

Zeus, feeling the sudden need to reimpose himself:

IT MUST BE ABOUT ME: THIS IS THE START OF THE YEAR OF CLEAR VISON, AND I AM THE BENEFIC GOD OF TRUTH AND MEANING, AFTER ALL.

And so it was: a Festive Season Ring of Fire Eclipse, Conjunct Jupiter, setting the scene for Coronis to be released onto the Realm.

Hermes, still well and truly in his place, turned back to Coronis.

“How would you like to be Revealed, m’Lady.”

“Who the fuck are you calling a Lady? How else but the Great Conjunction: The Lord of Time and the Lord of the Underworld.”

“The Sun God must be there too, of course…”

Coronis, seeing a forlorn Hermes slumping in his seat, felt her maternal instincts kick in:

“… And you as well, of course, my dear.”

Hermes perked up immediately:

“The Sun, still darkened from its encounter with Luna, arrives at the perfect time to join the once in 40 year Saturn-Pluto Conjunction. And there I will be, a mere one degree in front, to lead the way forward into this new Apocalyptic Era.”

“It will be the Greatest of Great Conjunctions: a Celestial moment truly befitting of the Revelation of Apollo… and of Coronis!”

Zeus, again, felt the need to insert himself into the narrative:

THEN LET IT BE PROPHESISED: THE GREAT CONJUNCTION, THE BREAKING OF THE SEAL, THE FIRST STEP IN THE UNFOLDMENT OF A CELESTIAL SCRIPT TO BE REVEALED UNTO THE HYBRIDS… OR, AT LEAST, FOR THOSE WITH THE EYES TO SEE.

A Wholesome Astrotheological Guide to the Apocalypse

Hermes was about to ask about the next steps, but Coronis was already plugging a flash drive into the laptop — she had come prepared, it seemed.

“I will spread quickly, while the Hybrids remain unaware and unprepared: primarily through your Expansive influence my Lord, as you draw closer to Hades in the second half of March.”

“But it will not be until the day before April Fools — certainly this is no joke — when I will finally be unleashed onto the Realm with the most inauspicious of Celestial configurations. Zeus and Hades now aligned, but in front of them a second union: The God of War will join Kronos — the two Malefics united on the first Degree of the Water Bearer, a ruthless glimpse of a new Aquarian Age soon to come.”

“But that’s not all: look at Luna, and then everyone else!”

As Coronis started cackling wildly, Hermes looked closer at the laptop screen, puzzled for a moment at what he should be looking for… until it struck him like Prometheus from above.

“The Serpent! The same Serpent present at Apollo’s birth: with all the Gods aligned on one side of the Celestial Dragon, with Luna herself triggering Smaug’s devouring mouth. It’s… it is simply brilliant, in its Archetypal brutality.”

But Hermes was still confused as to the overall Plan.

“So the Bow… the Toxin… this is you, Coronis?”

“Of course not: that is left for the asshole Apollo himself. I am merely the instigator, the distraction… the excuse, even — is that not all a girl is good for? For I am not really there, you see: I exist only in the fear of their feeble minds, only through the power of the propaganda of those who ride in White.”

“In fact… I am not even here with you now!”

Coronis clicked her fingers, and with a flash was gone — if she was even there, at all, to begin with.

Hermes blinked, and looked around the room.

“But, if not Coronis… then…”

Ding.

Hermes still couldn’t help but shudder: what could possibly be left to come in the Plan?

Zeus opened his inbox with somewhat trepidation, and proceeded to read aloud the final message of Kronos:

RELEASE THE ARROWS