The Birth of Apollo
Part 2 of the Wholesome Astrology of Apollo and His Arrows
Concerning the arrival of a Sun God, the harnessing of a Celestial Dragon, and a most Mercurial trick being played.
APOLLO. IT IS TIME.
Zeus, whose thunderous voice it was, now echoing through every corner of the Undisclosed Celestial Location, sat back in his chair: somewhat and uncharacteristically nervously checking his iPhone.
Hermes, sitting beside, did a quick relaxation breathwork routine.
And suddenly: the door was thrown open behind them.
“And about fucking time, as well!”
(Sorry to any fellow chaste diggers, but Venusian Astrology does not mean I will be cutting back on the occasional gratuitous profanity.)
Apollo, fresh from a few centuries in the gym and glistening with sweat (That Physique doesn’t take care of itself), rolled through on his Chariot; all of a sudden, with trumpets sounding, the room was glaringly illuminated.
The Sun God caught a glance of himself in the mirror, and flexed in satisfaction.
“Let’s do this shit Daddy. Find me the best hybrid-meat-suit-entrance-point befitting of my psychopathically masculine existence.”
A deep sigh, despite the overall jubilant mood; Zeus nodded again towards Hermes, now busily loading up his Astrology software.
“Where do we start?”
“The Sun, obviously. Am I not the fucking Sun God?”
Hermes glared at him with distaste — Apollo’s ego and uncouthness was abrasive at the best of times, let alone when he was finally ready to be unleashed onto the Realm after centuries of disciplined cross-training.
Zeus sensed the tension.
AN ECLIPSE, OF COURSE.
Of course: nothing fated on this tragically-fated Realm occurred outside of an Eclipse: the intersection of the paths of Sol and Luna — the Governors of Day and Night, of Consistency and Change, of Matter and Emotion.
Hermes, software finally loaded, got to work.
“A Total Lunar Eclipse then: archetypally, the complete dominance of the masculine principle; literally and observably, a Blood Moon: the most ominous, the most foreboding, the most fated Celestial event of them all.
Hermes knew immediately the perfect place for the Sun-Moon opposition, the most perfect oppositional axis that he had been saving for this most special of occasions: at one extreme, the Sun at the meeting point of the Horns of the Bull and the Hunting Arm of Orion; the other extreme, the Eclipsed Moon between the Scorpion and the Archer, and thus right in the heart of the occulted 13th Constellation of the Serpent-Bearer.
Hermes plugged in the coordinates so that the characters would be shown within the more familiar Tropical Matrix that the Hybrids had chosen as their desired Archetypal framework.
Apollo peered at the screen, his Astrologically prowess far inferior to his ability to pump iron:
“What the fuck is with the headphones?”
“Rahu and Ketu: the head and the tail of the Celestial Dragon, the devouring force that drives every soul forward towards its fated destiny for that incarnation.”
“Oh, you mean Smaug? Makes sense why they have him locked up in the Celestial basement then, kept trying to eat his own tail I heard.”
Hermes, shaking the feeling they had just shifted timelines, nodded and continued.
“The Sun with Rahu, at the top of the sky no less, is an insatiable appetite to be seen, to be the centre of attention, to lead but never follow, to burnout rather than fade away…”
He was considering how to gently describe the acute emotional and maternal challenges that would come with an eclipsed Moon at the bottom of the sky, but was interrupted.
“And the TV Antenna?”
Hermes smiled.
“Let’s just say that we have employed the Revolutionary Spirit of Prometheus to add a little extra spice to this occasion.”
Apollo, thus far reluctant to give any affirmation to a God so subversive to the stereotypical masculine principle, could not hide his approval.
“Yes… yes. The IDGAF vibe; relentless masculine hyper-egoism; the destructive tendencies; dare I say, it, the pure fucking chaos… I love it.”
Apollo paused.
“Of course: I still need to make people feel good. They need Meaning, they need Hope. They need Faith… in me, obviously, but Faith nonetheless. Where is the best place for Dad?”
A TRINE, OF COURSE, MY SON.
Hermes, having already well anticipated this Father-Son Alignment:
“Placed, perhaps, adjacent to the Spica, the Prized Jewel of the Virgin Maiden, the most Beautiful and Auspicious star in the sky?”
Apollo, suspicious at this flamboyant flourish, glanced again over Hermes’ somewhat feminine shoulder.
“SD. What’s SD? What prank are you pulling on me Hermes you little shit?”
Hermes, composed:
“Stationing Direct, Apollo. Maximum Expansive Power; your Fortune and Beneficence will only grow stronger as your life progresses.”
“Ah! Excellent.”
He squinted.
“What’s the key?”
“Chiron.”
“Chiron, my boy! Perfect combination. No Exaggerated sense of Deep Unhealable Wounding that I will carry with me across the incarnation, of course?”
Hermes shook his head slightly, doing his best to hide the smirk.
“Where’s Venus? I must be beautiful, of course… but I also don’t want that sassy bitch getting out of check.”
“Placed in the Crab, with Kronos: Control and Restriction… but also Discipline, Results, Mastery. Seemed fitting, given your unparalleled gym habits, no?”
Apollo, distracted by the crafty compliment and completely unaware of the detrimental condition of the Greater Malefic in Cancer while also being Square to Jupiter, seemed satisfied.
“What about Mars? I am fucking Apollo, the God of basically everything important: I must have the Biggest, most Beautiful, most Badass Mars the Realm has ever seen.”
An idea suddenly came to Hermes: a very clever one, even for him/they.
“Well, a Mars in the latter degrees of Leo would also Support the Sun. But even better: we could place the Ascendant right at the final degree of Leo, Conjunct the Royal Star Regulus — the Heart of the Lion, Throne of Power — and you would also have Mars-Leo Rising.
Apollo, feeling himself rising in more ways than one, grunted triumphantly.
Hermes paused, weighing up the pros and cons of full disclosure — because, for all its power, such an Ascendant would put Mars in the 12th House of Hidden Enemies and Self-Sabotage, and put the Demon Star Algol right at the highest and most visible point in the sky.
The opportunity passed, as Apollo — so excited by the prospect of Mars-Regulus-Rising (and needing to quickly work off some tension) that he had engaged in a celebratory round of push-ups, interjected:
“You have earned my trust, Hermes: I shall leave the rest up to you.”
Hermes, scarcely believing his luck, did not break stride; cunning and devious to the end, he quickly plugged in a Deceptive and Delusional Mercury-Neptune Square, with Pluto in the 12th House of Supernatural Powers (and, with Mars, Supernatural Attacks) for good measure.
Apollo arose, finally: smiling smugly as he stepped on to the Celestial Incarnation Portal.
“Perfect. The perfect Celestial Blueprint for the most perfect of Gods. Send me down.”
As Hermes was confirming the final details, Apollo sensed mischief afoot.
“And the perfect Human-Hybrid body, of course, Hermes?”
“Of course, Apollo.”
He/they pressed enter, and so the Birth of Apollo was.
Part 3:
You're really developing a powerful knack for storytelling, Isaac. And I for one, am delighted profanity stays in the mix. (Sometimes there just is no better word.)
Taking a celestial canvas and creating connection to an embodied life. Trump's larger than life personality, programmed in from the start. Written in the stars.
I love this - Trump's blindspot - blinded by his own light - and where's he's easy to manipulate:
"Apollo, distracted by the crafty compliment and completely unaware of the detrimental condition of the Greater Malefic in Cancer while also being Square to Jupiter, seemed satisfied."
and...
"Hermes, scarcely believing his luck, did not break stride; cunning and devious to the end, he quickly plugged in a Deceptive and Delusional Mercury-Neptune Square, with Pluto in the 12th House of Supernatural Powers (and, with Mars, Supernatural Attacks) for good measure."
Those mischievous gods.
An insightful and humorous perspective that comes with a 'get-ready' warning. Really fun to read, Isaac. Thank you.
It would seems things are gonna get interesting.
This is hilarious. But what a potty-mouthed wombat!!!! LOL
I have to say, I approve. Burf! Moof! Wowowowoooooo!