Moonfall and Other Lunarcies
Conspirituality Movie Review #4: The Space Conspiracy edition.
Conspirituality Movie Review Episode 1: Top Gun Maverick.
Conspirituality Movie Review Episode 2: Jurassic World Dominion.
Conspirituality Movie Review Episode 3: I Am Legend.
Trigger warning: if you are still operating within the conventional NASA-approved astronomical narrative, you may find this burrow quite confronting. If you aren’t ready to let go of Space — which I understand; The Space Conspiracy is arguably more compelling than The Germ Conspiracy — then perhaps it is best we part ways for now: may we meet again, probably the next time I do a spicy short meme post.
Now, with that out of the way…
Such is my dedication to this Conspirituality Movie Review series, I have watched the subject of our next instalment twice.
“Oh you watched a shitty Hollywood blockbuster twice cool man want a medal?” yeh I do coz this shitty Hollywood blockbuster was drowning in more oily American cheese than Top Gun Maverick.
(It’s like they deliberately try and make these soft-disclosure-meets-disinfo sessions unwatchable for people who enter with any type of intellectual mindset, causing them to walk out/turn off in disgust — thus being unable to fulfil their obligation to brutally yet playfully dismantle the conspirituality propaganda it gleefully peddles)
Except this time — instead of further desensitising audiences to bloodthirsty Western military intervention via a ripped shirtless Tom Cruise, or the creep of Tranhumanism via ripped shirtless prehistoric dino-chickens, or the coming NWO religion of Virologism via ripped shirtless Will Smith — we are further desensitising audiences to how fucking hilarious the Never A Straight Answer Space Conspiracy explanation for our Moon is via the Librarian from Game of Thrones (not ripped, not shirtless, but surprisingly based).
So: Moonfall. Cosmic cheese notwithstanding, any movie that even vaguely challenges NASA superstition about what lies in our sky (lies being the operative word) deserves our grudging respect — such is the level of infiltration of Space Conspiracist propaganda in Hollywood.
The movie, thanks largely to GoT Librarian, does its best work early on: trolling the hogwash explanation that our moon is nothing more than a chunk of rogue space rock that just happened to be captured in gravitational rotation at the EXACT point that would make it perfectly eclipse the alleged giant ball of gas 100 million miles away that is our Sun and that JUST SO HAPPENS to also miraculously (muh tidal locking muh) remain orientated so that only one side is ever visible to us.
It’s almost a crazy enough story that you could write the most popular psychedelic rock album of all time in honour of it.
“Ermehgerd he’s a flat earther” ACTUALLY IM AN ANTI-GLOBER BIATCH: if more people understood this distinction we might start to make some progress.
Just like you, or him, or her, or Neil oblate-spheroid deGrasse Tyson, I do not know the true shape of our current home realm. All I can do is use my own senses to make logical deductions and hypotheses about the world around me, as opposed to blindly accepting completely unprovable theories from proven-dishonest “scientific” institutions. And what I see is a seemingly flat stationary plane extending for God knows how far, with a local sun and moon coming and going above us and — beyond that — a complex and ever-changing pattern of lights that we call planets and stars. Case closed.
Triggered? Seems like i’m just using the same rationale for why you, or him, or her, or Neil oblate-spheroid deGrasse Tyson might believe that contagious pathogenic viruses exist: because it is your/their lived reality that you caught one — it’s what all the evidence available to you points towards (and, to play both sides, why blanket statements like “viruses don’t exist” are entirely unhelpful: given the lived reality of so many people is that viruses absolutely do exist and hence why they see terrain theorists as despicable gaslighters).
So, you can keep your viruses, and I will happily apply that same approach towards Space. And I, personally, will refuse to be gaslighted into being expected to believe (and ridiculed if I don’t) that — despite all that I can personally observe to be real and true, despite literally no sensory evidence that it is our planet (rather than the luminaries above us) that is moving, despite the fact that my sorry-ass, vertigo-inflicted brain can’t handle 5 minutes on a boat or 5 seconds on a swing before giving me motion sickness — we are in fact living on an oblate fucking spheroid travelling at 66,600 miles an hour through a vacuum, whilst rotating in two different ways (axial rotation and precession)… and that this whole time, despite all these various movements, our pole star (Polaris) remains locked in place above the North Pole.
Honestly, it all seems so ridiculous I just can’t keep up the facade anymore.
Anyway — for anyone who made it through that — back to Moonfall: if we have to, because that’s pretty much everything positive I have to say about it outside of based GoT librarian.
Ok, yes: it does play on a fairly spicy Ancient Aliens-meets-AI Takeover theme. But the joke is on us, of course: the absurdly over-the-top CGI porn — which, in fairness, is all the Space Conspiracists have to distract us from the fact that they are just making shit up with Adobe software — is just another reminder that the AI Takeover is already here (so are the aliens: probably building deep underground tunnels with all the money they fleece from us through taxation, manufactured wars and fake bioweapons labs in preparation for the next cataclysm).
Is there a chance its Artificial Moon hypothesis could be taken as a legitimate red pill by normies? Probably not, as the movie’s adherence to basic physics fails catastrophically the longer it goes and the closer the Moon gets to Earth. Forbes even constructed an amusingly valiant attempt to frame the The Science Behind “Moonfall” within the broader Space Conspiracy paradigm, and in doing so gave us this brilliant and concise summary of NASA ideology:
“It’s a movie. It is fiction. So, there is room for artistic license and suspension of disbelief… Science fiction often relies on scientific principles that are purely theoretical, but even when creating pure fantasy, it generally makes a better story if it is at least based on science that is possible. That said, there were scenes in this movie that seemed implausible.”
Implausible? No shit. It remains a toss up between the Space Conspiracists and the Germ Conspiracists for who will take top rank in the NWO Priesthood. NASA or Virology: who offers the more compelling fairy tale?
In short: Moonfall was a spectacular missed opportunity in awakening the masses to The Moon Conspiracy (The Lunarcy?).
So, while this was initially meant to be a humble 3-4 minute-ish movie review, you diehard diggers are in luck: DTWH is going to have to pick up the slack and go full Lunartic.
And no, I’m not talking about your basic bitch “did we land on the moon or not”: clearly they faked that shit, and they got Stanley Kubrick to do it, before he told us in The Shining (and they are even telling us again through American Horror Story). I have some proper spicy Lunarcies for ye tasting pleasure.
Thus: my favourite Moon Conspiracies, in no particular order (except to ease you in gently).
The Moon Map
Let’s start with a fun one, because The Lunarcy — as the name demands — does get pretty deep down the wombat hole.
In fact, the Moon Map might be one of the most wholesome conspiracies out there (depending on your tolerance for entertaining flat earth, which I assume is now fairly robust). It is fairly self-explanatory: that patch work of illuminated craters above us — sometimes whole, sometimes shrouded in crescent — actually maps out the true arrangement of Oceans and Continents on our greater realm.
Why would the real map of our (flat) Earth be on the moon? Needless to say, that is an excellent question, as is the related question: how the fuck would a map of Earth end up on the Moon?
More innocent explanations propose it is a natural phenomenon of our holospheric solar system: whereby the light from our true Sun (apparently a second sun, hidden somewhere behind us) reflects off the surface of the Earth (which is actually much much larger than the single crater within which we find ourselves contained) and on to the Firmament as what we perceive to be the Moon:
Maybe… sure? May I present an alternate, less science-y but more nefarious explanation (given it is literally what I do for everything): the Space Conspiracists, quite possibly through some elaborate and epic Project Blue Beam holographic projection, might just be trolling us again (if they are, then I will readily tip my hat to them on this one).
Operating under the Revelation of the Method principle: if they were hoodwinking us about the true shape of our realm, and if they were to have any hope of alleviating the karma of such a cosmic porkie, then they would have to put the truth out there somewhere. What better place than the Moon, giving new meaning to the phrase Hidden in Plain Sight?
If that sounds ridiculous, well, sure. But, having said that: just think what else you thought was ridiculous two and half years ago.
Keep that mind open, coz i’ve got one more layer of the Moon Map Conspiracy, and it involves a Pinnochio-esque puppet with a pencil for a nose and strong pedo vibes. No, really:
One of the most popular Australian TV series of all time was called Mr Squiggle. The eponymous character — the aforementioned Pinnochio-esque puppet with a pencil for a nose and strong pedo vibes — uses his sniffer to draw images from literal squiggles sent in by children watching at home. The central moral of the show (which ran for a whopping 40 years before it ended in 1999, and which I remember as being equal parts creepy and fascinating) is that the most seemingly random shapes can be transformed, with enough creativity, into the most recognisable of images. Mr. Squiggle’s home, from which he flew from and back to on a rocket for every episode, was (of course) the Moon: 93 Crater Crescent to be specific.
WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL US CREEPY MOON PINNOCHIO?
If you aren’t at least open to the show’s premise being one of the most profound disclosures in entertainment history — the key to unlocking the first door to The Lunarcy asylum — then I am surprised (but grateful) you are still reading.
The Moon Matrix
It was inevitable that, when speaking of Lunartics, David Icke was going to get a mention. While his constant flirting with the Black Pill can get a touch exhausting, no one has had their finger on the conspiracy gatekeeping pulse for such an extended period of time than the big fella from the Isle of Man.
Icke’s legendary half-day basic-bitch-Powerpoint lectures were influential early on in my red pill journey — as they were for many — and the (Saturn) Moon Matrix theory felt somewhat like a suppository. How out there is it?
If you want the full lecture experience, you will have to rely on Bitchute (careful in the comments section).
But again, it really explains itself: the moon is an interdimensional reptilian portal, a superconstruction watching over us in the sky that also functions as an energetic weapon designed to keep us locked in low frequencies and quite possibly harvest energy off us.
Feasible? Based on our previous Revelation of the Method rationale, for us to even consider taking it seriously, we would have to find a sneaky veiled pop culture reference of the moon acting as a sinister AF orbiting control centre intent on keeping us locked inside a prison. I can’t think of one, can you?
The Moon Trap
Ooh boy. This is a pretty spicy one, so hold on to your conspirituality hats (technically this is still a conspirituality movie review).
Let me preface by saying that, while this theory might sound a tad intense, the spirituality remains unchanged: maintain your sovereignty, reject false authority, and we will be all G in this life and what is to come. The rest becomes mind candy, there to entertain and educate, hopefully not to distract.
With that established, let’s have some of that candy. Have you heard of the white light, the one that we will be guided towards after death, however that we are supposedly not meant to follow so as to avoid being reincarnated back again into this God forsaken realm for eternity in the Kali Yuga cycle? Well, that might actually be the Moon: there to harvest our accumulated life force and send it electromagnetically over to power the sun. Sneaky buggers.
Just like the spiritual equivalent of the Death Star — “That's no moon! It's a space station!... We're caught in a tractor beam and it's pulling us in!” — so it alleged that our moon is a soul trap: a spell caster, a mystifier, a temptress. Maybe the dogs are really howling at her to go away?
This is pretty high stakes burrowing. If it was true — that the moon is a soul catcher, an afterlife lure — it would be pretty ballsy to just put it right out there.
You really are the most fun tinfoil hat wearer in all the (flat?) land.
I knew you would deliver! Also, you weren’t kidding about being connected: this morning I posed the question regarding David Icke in my telegram chat. Was wondering if he was a rabbit hole worth diving into it because I’ve heard some terrible criticism of him but I resonate with what he says although, admittedly, I’ve seen very little. I’ll put his BitChute video in my cue because, strangely enough, when I stretch my imagination about the moon, I think that yeah, maybe we did go up there but what we saw was profoundly disturbing and we had to return and fake a different narrative. Maybe we saw main control and the beings behind the levers weren’t all too happy about it.