INTRODUCING: Wholesome Astrology Wholistic Birth Chart Readings

When the Astrology tells you it’s time to take Astrology seriously.

How did you spend your Solstice/Christmas/Festive break?

To commemorate my first year as an Astrologer (Astrologist?), I spent much of mine binge-watching-on-1.25-(sometimes 1.5)-speed end-of-year Astrology Forecast videos. I had no idea there were already so many Astrologerists with opinions out there? Thankfully, I haven’t found any other Conspiratorial Drumming Stargazers with extensive Interdisciplinary Academic Research backgrounds, so my Jupiterian Optimism tells me there is still a market out there to be cornered. 

January 2024 Wholesomely Foreboding Skyclock Forecast

Speaking of Jupiter (and money): the Greater Benefic Luminary was one of the most consistent and prominent Celestial Characters across these Forecasts. This was for two main reasons: the Planet turned from Retrograde to Direct on the last day of the year — giving the world a much needed dose of New Years Spirit — and will make a much anticipated 1-in-12ish-year Conjunction with Uranus on April 20th (that is: in the direct aftermath of the April 8 Total Solar (aka Great American) Eclipse). 

As a Pisces Rising (under both Tropical and Sidereal, bonus controversy-free placement!), Jupiter becomes my official “Chart Ruler” — meaning, in my interpretation, it becomes the Planetary Archetype that “calls the shots” and will be most central to my experience of life. 

In honour of my Celestial Archetypal Overlord, I’m planning to focus much of my 5th House Stellium creative energy on the second brightest star in the sky in the lead up to April 20. Here was my first attempt:

And The Lining Was Suddenly Silver

Before I creatively and provocatively explore the Jupiterian Spirit further, I must also honour my Benevolent Heavenly Dictator’s specific abode in my own Birth Chart and get my hands dirty in decidedly material ways.

Jupiter Stationing Direct also represented the final peak of my 3rd Jupiter Return Year: whereby Transiting Jupiter meandered over its position in my natal Chart. The New Years Eve Station happened within 5 degrees of my natal Jupiter, which is located at the start of my 2nd House of Wealth, Material Assets and Personal Values (the specific House that will be activated in my chart by the Conjunction with Uranus):

Inner ring are my Natal placements, outer ring were the positions of the Planets on December 30 as Jupiter first Stationed Direct. Let’s ignore Neptune stalking my Ascendant shall we.

What does this combination entail? The following excerpt is taken directly from my Wholistic Birth Chart Reading template, which I have been gradually Expanding and Enlightening (in a consciously Jupiterian manner) over the last 12 months. 

Jupiter in the 2nd House. Strength: Fortune in finance; trust in financial security and independence; sharing wealth with less fortunate. Shadow: Wasteful; squanders theirs and other people’s money; demanding and presumptuous in what they are owed.

Well: it’s time to take my own advice from the first edition of Wholesomely Foreboding Skyclock Forecasts and make hay while the current Celestial Weather is shining somewhat favourably upon us. Today, January 11 2024, is the New Moon in Tropical Capricorn and Sidereal Sagittarius: forming an almost exact Trine with Uranus (Revolutionary New Beginnings), while Jupiter forms an almost exact Trine to Mars (Positive Self-Assertion) and Sextile to Saturn (Disciplined Optimism). In my home town Esperance, the New Moon — with Pluto lurking ominously 10 degrees away — becomes almost exact tonight as it sets over the Western Horizon.

The Wholistic Birth Chart of someone just born in Esperance: showing the almost-perfect Sunset New Moon at 20 degrees Tropical Capricorn, in the Sidereal Constellation of Sagittarius, and on the cusp of the two Ashadha Nakshatras.

This Spicy and Portentous Sun-Moon Conjunction will activate my 10th House: the House of Career, Reputation and the Future.

And thus, here we are, with the official twilight launch of WHOLESOME ASTROLOGY WHOLISTIC BIRTH CHART READINGS.

What can you expect as part of your Wholistic Birth Chart Reading? Have at some of this bulleted list, fellow diggers:

• Your Wholistic Birth Chart: showing your Planets in Aspect and in their Houses — along with their Tropical, True Sidereal and Lunar Mansion (Nakshatra) placements (see New Moon chart above as an example);

• A 3 Page summary of your Primary Celestial Archetypes, Major Planetary Aspects, House Occupants and Lunar Node Life Path;

• An overview of the Geocentric Cosmology of the Skyclock;

• My “Harmonising the Heavens” manifesto on wholesomely integrating various branches of Astrology into a single working model;

• A “Wholesome Astrology 101” breakdown of every aforementioned component of your Wholistic Birth Chart;

• A fun and potentially provocative exploration of your unique “Lunar Life Lessons”;

• Your personalised “Archetypal Forecast” covering the major Outer Planet Transits over the next 5 years and where they are activated in your chart; 

AND MY PERSONAL FAVOURITE:

• Creative, witty and often brutally savage (see above) 3-line summaries of the positive and negative Archetypal expressions of the Planets in every Sign and House.

*grits teeth*

ALL THIS FOR THE LIMITED TIME EXCLUSIVE PRICE OF 300 HOPEFULLY NOT SOON WORTHLESS FIAT AUSTRALIAN DOLLARS.

*checks exchange rate*

WHICH IS ACTUALLY FAR LESS THAN 300 OF YOUR EVEN MORE TENUOUS NORTHERN HEMISPHERE FIAT MONETARY TOKENS.

In all seriousness: this is essentially the culmination of my prolonged and seemingly endless professional journey as an interdisciplinary, conspirituality-leaning researcher — which is, itself, the perfect Astrological expression of having my Neptune-Conjunct-Moon in the Nakshatra of Mula (Destroying the Roots of Untruths) in the 10th House of Career and Reputation. Long-ish term readers will confirm that I plainly speak my truth and am more than happy to tell people things they don’t like to hear: which (in my opinion) is one of the core Archetypes of the Astrologer.

I could go on about why my Astrology gives me little choice in this matter, however, long story short: you could convincingly argue that I was born to make a Career and Living as a Wholesomely Provocative Piscean Astrologer, and I certainly take that life mission seriously (most of the time, which is a good effort for a Pisces).

My life has, after all, benefited immensely from a true understanding of Astrology, and I am fortunate to be in the position to pass on this gift to others. I see Wholistic Birth Chart Readings as not simply a “Reading” of one’s own Celestial Identity, but also a foundational manual for understanding Astrology.

If you find yourself in Jupiterian financial circumstances in the near future, and feel like my services are worth the investment, you can follow this link to my main website (or, if you would like to know more first: isaac.mids@gmail.com). I am starting with a tentative and conservative 2 week turnaround time (completing the Reading is a creative and intuitive Neptunian process that doesn’t do well with timelines) — and for now, until I find my feet and trajectory, I am only officially offering the report without any additional virtual-face-to-face option.

So that’s that. Were you only here for Spicy Celebrity Astrology Drum Covers? Well, I have you covered too: here is a breakdown of Dolores O’Riordan’s Planetary Transits on the day of her death, soundtracked to an overlooked Cranberries Banger.

Did I mention that a Wholesome Astrology Reading also includes your Transits?