INTRODUCING: Wholesome Astrology Subscriber Readings

Ft. Bonus Preview of the Astrology of the Orange Moonchild.

Fun news, fellow diggers!

After much promising, teasing and putting off — I have finally settled on a Pay-the-Wombat option for this humble subterranean Stack.

Fear not, if you are cash-strapped and concerned about missing out on any Wholesomely Conspiratorial, Celebrity-Gossip-leaning Astrological content: rather than going down the well-trodden subscriber-only-content route — which is obviously tempting in its potential to create an exclusive occult Wombat elite, and Moonchild-willing this will occur one day — I have decided to offer a new Reading service instead.

I have been working on this format for a while, getting it to a point where I feel it is relevant to diggers of all Astrological shapes and sizes.

How? Well, I like to think I have a fairly novel approach to birth chart interpretation: creative and playful yes (hello 5th House Leo Sun) but also structured and grounded (hello 10th House Capricorn Moon) in the observable geometric configuration of the Planets in their visible locations in the sky.

What you will get in this Reading is a scene-by-scene breakdown of the underlying Planetary dynamics of your Personality into what I am calling your unique “Celestial Story”. I like playing around with both Tropical Signs, Fixed Stars and Lunar Mansions to add flavour to these underlying dynamics — and you will get all flavours here — but ultimately the Reading is centred around the Planets in Aspects within their observable Houses (no Whole Signs here, soz). And the Lunar Nodes — Rahu and Ketu — which I incorporate as the anchoring axis of a chart.

Plus, if this is well and truly not your first Astrological Rodeo, I have a 5th House Stellium Squared by an 8th House Pluto level of Provocative Playfulness to offer you (just make sure to let me know, and I will do my best to be especially Playful and Provocative).

ALL THIS FOR THE LOW LOW ANNUAL PRICE OF 50 WOMBAT DOLLARS (which more than likely exchanges to far less of your non-marsupial fiat) WHICH YOU CAN EVEN PAY OFF MONTHLY AT WHAT IS PROBABLY CONSIDERABLY LESS THAT A CUP OF PROVERBIAL COFFEE.

(Edit: it is not in fact 50 wombat dollars, but 50 non-marsupial fiat (which monthly is almost certainly still less than any proverbial cup of coffee worth drinking), however the above paragraph will stand as a testament to Jupiter in the 2nd House Squared by Mercury.

Once you have subscribed — or if you are already a Paid Subscriber, of course — please email me your Birth City, Day and Time (at least an approximate birth time is required) at isaac.mids@gmail.com, and give me up to 2 weeks to get your Reading back to you (sometimes the story of a chart reveals itself almost automatically, sometimes it takes more time to untangle).

Need more convincing?

Well, how better to demonstrate the power of a Celestial Story than the subject of the extra spicy conclusion of the ripping yarn that is the Astrology of the Orange Moonchild — currently on track to be released on the Manchild’s infamous Solar Return Day: June the 14th.

Who’s ready for the bottom of the Wombat Hole?