Fact-Checking the Vax-Checkers Pt 1: Magnetism!
Shouldn't Big Pharma be happy that their jabs are giving people superpowers?
File under: Anti-Vax Screeds
Before we get to the reason why there is a picture of a Baby Yoda magnet stuck to someone’s skin, let me get this on the record upfront: I am not the biggest fan of the Covid vaccines. Those who follow me on social media (Instagram here, although I am far better value on Twitter) know me as that guy who made everyone uncomfortable by speaking up against the jab when it was akin to religious blasphemy to do so. To call me ‘vaccine-hesitant’ would be greatly overstating my openness to taking the vaccine sometime in the future, barring the most urgent of personal circumstances. So there is that; you have been warned.
However, a point of qualification is needed: I am not against the vaccines in an absolute sense. I believe it was absolutely the correct decision to roll them out with the speed and the haste that they were — the world would almost certainly be trapped in an even more ghastly state of lockdown and quarantine if they were not. The data clearly show that they provide effective short-term protection against the original strain of the SARS-Covid-2 virus, even though this level of protection is not what the public was originally promised. Hence, while there are certainly some concerns with rare adverse side-effects that will likely only become more prevalent as more data is made public, I believe this rollout should continue.
I believe this, not because I believe these vaccines represent a viable and sustainable form of immunity in the long term, but because I believe most fundamentally in free will — especially in regards to complex health decisions. And the choice of whether to take this vaccine or not is such a fantastic exercise in exercising one’s own free will, that I am happy we have been offered it by the powers at be (whether these powers be light or dark).
What I am against is the narrative that has been created around the vaccines, and the agenda behind them. This is a narrative — through censorship, lamentable journalism and dodgy academic practice — that is obscuring the science behind the vaccines and how it is communicated to the public. Probably more egregiously, this is an agenda — through the coercion of celebrity sell-outs, ridiculous tax-payer-funded Government incentives, and the impeding spectre of measures such as vaccine passports and ‘no-jab no-pay’ — that is rapidly diminishing the potential for many people to utilise their free will in regards to this vaccine.
I think it is by now quite obvious that the vaccine agenda has been hijacked by special interests, notably the ever-present anti-nature forces of Big Pharma. The data supporting this is undeniable: Covid vaccines have now officially created nine new billionaires, have a combined net wealth of $19.3 billion — enough to fully vaccinate all people in low-income countries 1.3 times. We have now shifted from vaccinating those most at-risk to the virus in our population, to young and healthy adults, to children, even — in the not too distant future — to our pets. Leave aside any deeper and more sinister conspiratorial agenda that you have undoubtably seen shared on social media, because all we really need to do is follow the money.
This is a crying shame, because I have absolute respect for the technology underlying the vaccines — notably the mRNA tech of the Pfizer and Moderna brands — and those diligent and hard working experts who have been responsible for their development. They should be the most outraged by the direction this is taking, given the potential for this technology to be fully utilised to improve the health of the human population will now be drastically set back — if not irreparably damaged — by this current episode.
Unfortunately, this nuance is lost on many people. Our debate around vaccines is still largely stuck in an astonishing vortex of dichotomy, whereby the expression of but a single thought crime against the approved narrative sees one immediately damned as The Enemy of Science. Thus, in the eyes and minds of many, I have already been relegated into one of the most ghastly of social statuses, perhaps second only to the dreaded Conspiracy Theorist: the Anti-Vaxxer.
Well, fine by me. As with the label conspiracy theorist, I’m happy to take one for the team by leaning in to the term. Because, as with the conspiracy theorist label, I am happy to break the stereotype, one factual argument after the next, to show just how rational and evidence-based these positions are to hold. And, vice-versa, how often irrational and science-denying those who still use these labels as insults are.
So, with that in mind, it is time for the fightback. And where else to start but the fact checkers: those self-proclaimed debunkers-in-chief, Guardians of the Narrative and Controllers of the Agenda that is being pushed out by our Big Pharma overlords. It is time to Fact Check the Vax-Checkers, because for the moment I can’t think of a cleverer headline than that.
As I like to do when dealing with these often controversial and challenging subjects, let’s start with something fun. Magnetism!
I assume that everyone has heard of recently-jabbed individuals holding up metal implements to their injection site and showing what appears to be new found powers of magnetic attractions. You mean the vaccines give us superpowers as well? Why wasn’t this part of the sales pitch to our DC and Marvel-obsessed younger generations?
Like many people, I thought it was bullshit: another psy-op started by shills with the aim of discrediting all anti-vaxxers and conspiracy theorists — or simply the hysterics of the wannabe social media famous. This really was low hanging fact-checking fruit, and it was given the full debunking treatment by Snopes and their other esteemed fact-checking comrades in arms accordingly.
Not only could they bring in experts to confidently and decisively state that there was no way, based on the list of official ingredients, that the vaccines could make you magnetic. They could also kill two tin foil hatted birds with one stone and further debunk the now infamous and ubiquitous conspiracy that vaccines are simply the Trojan horse of an agenda to micro-chip and track the human population.
Look, I am humble and gracious enough to admit when the conspiracy community has overstepped the mark (not an irregular occurrence) and where the fact-checkers must be given their due credit.
The only problem? It turns out it seems to be true. Not the micro-chipping part (although who really knows by this point), but the fact that people have actually been able to stick magnetic objects on to their skin and have them stay there.
After the initial hubbub, I saw many people in the numerous anti-vax-leaning social media groups that I am apart of post similar videos, including of people who didn’t even get the vaccine. Of course, you aren’t here for my conspiracy anecdotes.
Thankfully, more reputable sources decided to investigate for themselves. Here is a clip from The Hirewire (which, admittedly, would not be seen as reputable by many) going out onto the street and finding many random magnetised individuals. There is also this quite entertaining example, in Spanish, where TV hosts set out to debunk the theory before in fact proving it on several random audience members. Here is another one, In English. Here is someone who even had the time their hands to make a 47 minute compilation video. Yep, it’s real folks.
What Snopes et al. have managed to pull off here is one of the most common fact-checking tactics: to debunk one particularly aspect of a conspiracy — usually its most outrageous and easily disprovable aspect — and thereby giving the impression that the entire theory has been relegated to the dustbin of derangement. In fairness, the fact-checkerati are only able to do this because of the caricatured alarmism of many in the conspiracy community, so both sides bear responsibility.
Yes, these videos do not provide evidence that the Covid vaccines are Bill Gates-trademarked nano-chips, or for that matter that they contain any metallic substance other than that advertised. But anyone who takes the time to watch these videos is left in no doubt that the phenomenon of metal objects sticking to injection sites is very much real. However, anyone who doesn’t, and relies only on these debunkings, will more than likely leave believing that the entire episode was balderdash.
Essentially, the fact-checkers employ one of the trademark responses of the egotistical modern scientist: if there is no known explanation for something being true, then by logical reason it must not be true! Ipso facto: from what we know about the science of vaccines and magnets, there is no way they can cause a person to become magnetic, hence every person forwarding this ridiculous theory is a liar, a charlatan, or simply some poor deluded fool who doesn’t understand that light objects can stick to skin surfaces simply through adherence to moisture. Haha, idiots!
Truly, there is nothing like absolute and unwavering faith in the religion of Science to bring order and certainty to what might otherwise be a strange and confusing world.
So… what the heck is going on then? How could something like this occur?
Some people have gone as far as proposing potential explanations. I’m happy to leave it as a fantastic mystery for now, and will instead offer up what I think is the better question: should we really be so surprised? Why do we find it so incomprehensible that something unpredicted and apparently unexplainable is occurring as a result of the hurried rollout of a largely untested and experimental medical technology?
These vaccines, despite all the world-saving propaganda that has been bestowed upon them, are at the end of the day simply just another pharmaceutical product — created by pharmaceutical companies with frankly quite concerning records of integrity and performance. Why would we expect there not be defections in this product, especially given the rushed time frame that was required thanks to Orange Man’s Operation Warp Speed?
And why would we be at all surprised that a new form of technology, that up until now has only been applied in lab settings and on animals, might have reactions inside the body that we had not anticipated? All of these scientists and academics called upon to debunk this theory did so from a purely theoretical perspective, assuming not just that the product contained the advertised ingredients, but that functioned in the advertised way. Everyone of these experts would know that a theory is not worth the paper it is written on until it is applied in practice.
This speaks to the power of the narrative that has been created around vaccines. It seems that they now occupy some mythical place in our culture, where all usual scientific and commercial complexities are suddenly thrown out of the window. Maybe it is time to debunk that particularly crazy theory once and for all.